“Life today is not what it used to be.”
How many times have you heard this from your parents or grandparents? Life, few years ago—before the Internet, Youtube, Facebook, Instagram—was so much less stressful.
Everything was simpler, people socialized more face to face, there was less pressure to wear many hats and pull yourself in multiple directions.
Today, though, life is supposedly more advanced—we have more things to make it all more convenient, but we have so much information thrown at us that, at times, it’s hard to keep on top of everything.
Bottom line—the “better” life comes as a cost—it’s more taxing and strenuous to try and keep all in balance.
In addition to these global forces, on a personal level, we all go through our own metamorphoses. We all have our own battles to fight, monsters to stand up against, ups and downs we need to overcome.
Eventually, we all reach a point in our lives when we are faced with some distressing event—quite often outside of our control too—such as losing a loved one, going through sickness, divorce, or any other difficulty. These unfavorable experiences make it very challenging and impossible at times to keep it all together.
Simply put, we fall apart.
Psychologists call such states “existential anxiety and depression,” or simply “existential crisis.”
As one can gather, these are not the highlight moments of our lives, but nonetheless are very important times of discovery and reinvention.
The American singer Tori Amos beautifully captured this notion:
“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.”
What Is Existential Crisis?
As the name implies, existential crisis has something to do with our existence. More specifically, it’s a period of re-examining our lives’ meaning, purpose, or values.
These “big” questions are usually triggered by a traumatic event we’ve been through, which has shattered our current beliefs about our worlds.
Faced with the fleeting nature of life, we realize that we don’t have control over many things that happen to us—which, admittedly, is not a comforting thought. Anxiety builds up and we end up spiralling further down and down the rabbit hole.
It’s important to note that not every turning point in life leads to an existential crisis. Stress is often a normal part of the everyday and in many cases, it’s temporary and it passes.
But when it lingers longer and makes us feel as everything is hollowed out of meaning, and when we start questioning our place in life and the reason for being, we can certainly say that we have fallen under the dark spell of the mental and physical distress, known as existential crisis.
Causes of Existential Crisis
As I already mentioned, existential crisis is not triggered by ordinary events which may lead to more-or-less “normal” levels of stress and anxiety—such as starting a new job, marriage, having kids, giving presentations at work or studying for a test in college.
Distress becomes deeper and darker when we undergo a major trauma, loss or an ordeal. According to a piece in Healthline, possible causes of existential crisis can be any of the following:
- Guilt about something
- Losing a loved one in death, or facing the reality of one’s own death
- Feeling socially unfulfilled
- Dissatisfaction with self
- History of bottled up emotions
Dr. Irvin Yalom, a prominent American existential psychiatrist and a professor at Stanford University, in his book Existential Psychotherapy, has identified four primary reasons of why people may undergo existential depression — death, freedom, isolation and meaningless.
Fear of death and the inability to have control over it can be, undeniably, a source of anxiety. Freedom, as surprising as it may sound, can also create a sense of uneasiness. Because when we have the ultimate freedom to act, think, speak as we want, this means that we also must take full responsibility of our actions and decisions. Everything that happens to us will be more of a direct consequence of our choices, which, of course, can be rather terrifying to some.
Furthermore, although we are social creatures, the realization that we can never fully know someone or respectively—others may never fully understand is, can make us feel alone and isolated from the world, which leads to isolation existential crisis.
Finally, perhaps the most wide-spread reasoning behind why some go through existential depression is because they suffer from the constant drizzles of disappointment with their lives and a sense of meaningless—that have lost their sense of belonging or of purpose and don’t see any path forward.
As one can gather, it’s not a great place to dwell in. And what’s more—there is no easy fix.
Symptoms of Existential Crisis
Existential crisis is a dark period and can take a serious toll on both our mental and physical state.
Someone who is deep down the depression road can have a heightened sense of:
- An intense or obsessive interest in the bigger meaning of life and death. The interest in exploring this may override a person’s enjoyment and engagement with other day-to-day activities.
- Extreme distress, anxiety, and sadness about the society they live in, or the overall state of the world.
- A belief that changes in anything are both impossible and futile.
- Increasingly becoming, and feeling, disconnected, isolated, and separate from other people.
- Cutting ties with other people because they feel like connections with others are meaningless or shallow and they are on a completely different level.
- Low motivation and energy levels to do anything they would normally do.
- Questioning the purpose, point or meaning of anything, and everything, in life.
- Suicidal thoughts and feelings.
So, it’s quite serious and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You can’t just “sit it out” and wait for the storm to pass. Frequently, it may not go away on its own.
How to Cope with Existential Crisis
Feelings of constant distress can be daunting, to state the least — a true happiness-thief.
So, how do you save yourself from the gloominess and the greyness you feel inside?
Luckily, we are far from choice-less, psychologists tell us. In fact, there are many things that we can do to help ourselves when we start questioning the purpose of our existence and the meaning of it all.
One thing that’s worth mentioning as well is that existentialists prescribe that we should learn to live and cope with the anxiety vs. eliminating it. They view even this deep distress as a normal part of life. Therefore, their strategies aim at acknowledging and managing the sunless thoughts and feelings, rather than trying to force them into positive ones.
Here are some additional ways in which we can help ourselves through such distressing periods.
1. Inject Some Meaning Back into Your Life
The search for meaning is a universal one—we all want our lives to matter and leave something behind after we are gone.
In my previous post, What’s the Meaning of Life? A Guide to Help You Live with Purpose, I wrote about how each one of us can create their own meaning in life. It’s through compassion and care for our wellbeing, connecting with the world and making ourselves useful.
2. Keep a Gratitude Journal
Although not ground-breaking, this idea has many proven benefits.
Reminding ourselves of what we are lucky enough to have achieved, can do wonders for our mental health and will quell our anxieties.
Read more: https://www.lifehack.org/832129/what-is-an-existential-crisis